Jesus Loves Me April 13, 2008

A while ago, I was walking through downtown LA making my friend Brian listen to a pity party for me. I was whining, complaining, feeling icky and like nothing was going right. About that time, a homeless woman literally hit me in the back, looked me in the eye, and said “Jesus Loves You”.

Wow, what a lesson. I am so grateful that Jesus reminded me that he loves me when I needed to hear it most. It was an unconventional way but hey, it worked! Now every time I start to have a pity party for me, I remember that Jesus loves me. Lucky me!

BTW, Jesus loves you too. Hopefully you won’t need to be hit to be reminded. :)

I Like Big Butts! January 11, 2008

I won $100 singing karaoke at my company holiday party singing (well, white-girl rapping) Baby Got Back by the brilliant Sir Mix-a-Lot! My victory was in the Funniest category! Hee.

In honor of my victory, here’s a little Baby Got Back trivia for you: (all from Wikipedia)

• It was ranked the 12th greatest one-hit wonder by VH1.
• It was ranked the 6th greatest song of the 90’s by VH1.
• “Baby Got Back” reached number 1 on the United States’ Billboard Hot 100 chart for five weeks in the summer of 1992, replacing Mariah Carey’s “I’ll Be There”. Madonna bumped Sir Mix-a-Lot out of #1 with “This Used to Be My Playground”.
• “Baby Got Back” won a 1993 Grammy Award for Best Rap Solo Performance.
• On VH1’s Greatest Songs of the 90’s, Sir-Mix-A-Lot joked that he was “the dancing turd” during the music video, in which he is on top of a huge “back”.
• The anchors of ESPN’s Sportscenter on many occasions open a Milwaukee Bucks highlight reel with the pun “I like big Bucks and I cannot lie”.
• In the Friends episode The One with Ross’s Inappropriate Song, the only way Ross and Rachel could get their baby daughter to laugh was to sing this song.
• In the Futurama episode A Fishful of Dollars, Fry starts playing Baby Got Back in front of Leela and Bender. Leela turns off the music and tells Fry, “You can’t just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.”
• In the Simpsons episode, Two musical scores are present, first Huey Lewis’s I want a new drug and then Baby Got Back. Dr. Hibbert performs it

Happy Holidays from Cedars-Sinai Medical Group December 18, 2007

Today I received this lovely “holiday greeting” in the mail from my medical group:

Come treat yourself or a loved one to a cosmetic dermatology procedure
from Cedars-Sinai Medical Group Dermatology Department.

Look refreshed during this busy festive season. Sparkle at holiday gatherings. Bid adieu to lingering sun spots and worry lines. Rid your legs of visible veins to show off in that holiday dress!

We are offering a special promotional rate of 20% off your first treatment.

Is my MEDICAL GROUP really trying to wish me happy holidays? Um, no. They are trying to make me feel bad about myself in order to spend money that I don’t have at Christmas on cosmetic procedures I don’t need. Let me just list the ways in which this annoys/humors me:

1. Treat myself or a loved one — when did botox become a treat? I can hear the children now, “Mommy, can I have a botox treat?”
2. Look refreshed this busy festive season — ok, are they missing the busy part? Chemical peels take time to recover so am I supposed to sit around not busy during my busy festive season?
3. Sparkle at holiday gatherings — are glitter injections the new rage?
4. They did succeed in making me check out my legs to see if I have visible veins. I do not. Thank God, otherwise I’d have to rush to get a treatment before I could put on a dress! Oh the shame of having veins. They only SUPPLY BLOOD to my entire body!
5. Also notice that everything is a”holiday”. We wouldn’t want to offend the Jews or the Christians. However, I did receive this after Hanukkah.

Now, maybe I’m overreacting but I’m really annoyed by this. The holidays are a busy festive season and I certainly don’t need my medical group pimping themselves for sales at this time. Actually, I don’t ever want my medical group pimping itself for sales. I think it’s just wrong.

I’m also going to guess that NO ONE outside of LA gets “holiday greetings” like this. Ah, a special holiday joy of living in the la-la land of the fake.